PUNCH-OUT!! WITH LYRICS
Originally released on ScrewAttack May 20, 2009


I WAS FIVE WHEN I GOT “MIKE TYSON’S PUNCH-OUT!!”
MIKE WAS TOUGH!
OH MAN, THAT GUY COULD KNOCK YOUR LUNCH OUT
THEN HE WENT TO JAIL (I WENT TO JAIL!)
HIS CONTRACT WENT UPSTREAM,
NINTENDO STILL HAD A SCHEME
WITH DOUCHEBAGGY MR. DREAM! (OH NO!)

NOW, LUCKILY, PUNCH-OUT!! IS BACK, FOR THE WII!

WAIT! THERE’S NO MIKE TYSON ON THE WII-MAKE?
BULLSHIT COCK!
SO WHAT’S THE POINT OF HAVIN’ A REMAKE?
THAT’S A BUNCH OF SHIT!
BALD BULL I KIND OF LIKE, BUT JUST ‘CAUSE WE LOOK ALIKE
HE’S NOT HALF AS COOL AS MIKE!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. MIKE TYSON!

MIKE TYSON:
YEEEEAH BOYEEE! LEND ME YOUR EARS!
SIX SEVEN EIGHT…
I’M IRON MIKE AND I’LL KNOCK YOU INTO SPACE
I GOT MORE PUNCH THAN RIHANNA’S FACE
BECAUSE I FLOAT LIKE AN INNER TUBE AND STING LIKE A SCORPION
I’LL HIT YOU SO SPLENDIFOROUSLY, YOU’LL NEED SOME MORPHI-EN

ASK ME IF I LIKE TO EAT MEAT: I AM CARNIVOROUS
ASK ME WHAT KIND OF TREES I LIKE: I’D SAY CONIFEROUS
ASK ME HOW MY ATTITUDE IS: IT IS VOCIFEROUS
DON’T BELIEVE THE WORDS THAT I SAY? WELL THEN CONSIDER THIS:

I AM FEROCIOUS
MY WORD BANK IS COPIOUS
IN FACT IT’S SUPERCALAFRAGALISTIC-ALADOCIOUS

I’M KID DYNAMITE,
ALWAYS TRIPPIN’ FIGHT OR FLIGHT
COVER UP YOUR EARS, BABY, I MIGHT TRY A BITE
I AIN’T CRAZY, THE MEDIA FILETS ME,
BUT NOW YOU KNOW I RAP LIKE LUDACRIS OR JAY-Z

THAT’S A NICE BIKE, BRENTALFLOSS. IT’S MINE NOW.

BRENT:
WOOOOOH—BIKE!
TYSON STOLE MY BIKE!
THAT GUY’S NAME IS MIKE!
AND HE STOLE MY BIKE! NOOOOO!

TYSON STOLE… TYSON STOLE… STOLE MY BIKE.

MAN I HATE MIKE TYSON!

MIKE TYSON:
I MAY BE SPASTIC BUT I’M NOT MADE OF PLASTIC,
I’M A VICIOUS FIGHTER BUT MY FEELINGS ARE ELASTIC,
SO I’M NOT SLAPSTICK, I’M “MAJASTIC”, FUCKIN’ FANTASTIC
WHEN I GRAB A CHICK AND SLAP DICK

BUT BE CAREFUL WITH THE CHICKS AND THE DICKS
THIS ONE TIME I CROSSED THE LINE AND I GOT SLAPPED WITH THREE-TO-SIX

I DON’T EVEN GIT HALF THE SHIT I SPIT,
I’M NOT A DIPSTICK, I JUST HAVE A WIT THAT IS CRYPTIC